Tara Bey
On March 29,2009, I met my abuser. At first we click, we talk on the phone we did normal things that couples do. He introduce me to his family and friends. Things seemed alright at first. As time went on, I invited him to my house. After a few hours of conversation  I started to notice his attitude change.  My phone would ring, he would come straight out and ask me who I'm talking to. He would grab me close to him and he would hug me with force. Then the light went off in my head I might be in trouble his behavior is strange to me.  As time went on the relationship was fine until April 2009. My abuser started physically abusing me like grabbing my arm , shoving me , a light slap on the face and pulling my hair. Then the mental abuse started, telling me he was going to kill me if I ever leave him, his favorite line was "If I cant have you know one else will", and telling me he will know every move I make because he have his friends watching my every movement. My abuser was a serious stalker and controller. Then the sexual abuse started. Ladies and Gentleman - no means no. My abuser made me do things against my will and when I would cry out he would tell me to shut up and become more controlling. Now all of April I was in my own world, I was 40 years old and wondering to myself what did I get myself into.When you are a victim you really don't know which way to go, you don't want to put  no one in danger, and you don't want to push him over the edge. So I had to pray.Prayer for me was the key. May 2009 I couldn't take it anymore so,I broke up with him, told him not to call me any more and not to come to my house. My abuser told me it's not over until he says its over.A week went by and I am thinking to myself he went on with his life. ( Not).  He call me from  unknown numbers and he would leave messages saying he is going to kill me. My abuser had people around my way watching my every move , he would call me and leave message telling me what color outfit I had on ,what kind of car I got out of, and he would tell me to tell my friends not to come to my house anymore or he would kill them. Gifts would be on my door step like a teddy bear, with a card saying he was sorry. Inside the card he would tell me he loves me and we need to talk. Of course I would throw the gifts away in the outside dumpster. 2 days later the same gifts would appear on my door step again. Things became very crazy for me I fear for my life and my daughter life. I had to arrange the same driver to take and pick my daughter up from school and I had to let the school know what was going on. I had to notified the rental offices and I give them a picture of my abuser.  I also had to let my neighbor know what was going on and tell them to call the police if they see anyone around my house. Things got worse as I got several threats on my life, he would wait until 1am in the morning to ring my door bell and knock on my door. I would get a ride to the store and then as I leave from the store he would call my name from a far, he would let me know he is around and watching me. May 12,2009 I walk into a police station and ask to speak to a commissioner, I started to cry and started explaining  what my abuser done to me. A complaint was filed and that same day I went in front of a judge to get my first peace order. That same day I found out my abuser had a long criminal record. A couple of days in the computer the complaint turn into a warrrant for his arrest. My abuser found out and went crazy . The phone continue to ring 3 to 6 times a day. He was telling me to stay in the house and if he see me outside he was going to stab me up,that he was going to get a bunch of girls to beat me up ,and he was going to get me put out of my townhome. He was crazy. So I had to start writing down everytime he called and everything he said to me. I made up a secret code only me and my babygirl and neighbor knew in case someone had to call 911. The warrant was still open and they try serving him at his family member house but the police was told he didnt live there anymore, come finding out my abuser found friends to live with in my area and he kept knocking on my door all hours of the night and ringing my bell and running. After several phone calls to the police they decided to post cars on 2 corners. Finally there was a knock on my door it was the police and they got him, I thought they was going to lock him up.No they served him the peace order paper and then warned him to stay away . The phone calls continued for 2 days straight leaving messages telling me I wo'nt live to see tomorrow and that he will plan a way to enter my house and kill me. So I had to go and file another complaint from that complaint another warrrant was issued. Then one day he called me while he was in jail telling me when he get out what he was going to do to me.  Then the letters from jail came to my house I did'nt open them I took them straight to the commissioner office and had them open the letters and then another complaint was file. It was several court dates. I had to file peace order after peace order and show up with my evidence in hand. I had to work with the lawyers and speak up for myself in court. During the many court cases my abuser would get 60 days for violation of peace order, but every complaint added up, which made my abuser stay in jail longer. That gave me time to relocate and try to start my life over. On the last court date Dec 2009. My abuser done all his time. The judge told him to stay away from me. No contact what sat all. I get a call from the detention center letting me know he was released. I moved but my abuser went in the city and filed false charges on me. Now on christmas day I gets a call it is him,screaming and telling me its a warrant for my arrest and to turn myself in. The phone calls continue  all through christmas day. Now I have to place another complaint the peace order is still in effect but he violated the peace order again. So I was sitting in the commissioner office a few days after Christmas and the commissioner place the warrant because of the evidence he heard but also told me it is a warrant for my arrest. I never been locked up myself. I was 40 years old and I had to turn myself in down jail. They ran my name through the computer and yes I had a warrant they came down and locked me up. I was explaning the situation to them that this man is trying to find out my new location and to call up the county commissioner office  and they will tell you this man is a stalker they paid me no mind. I spent 3 days in jail my bail was 5,000.00 and my family had to pay 500.00 to a bails bondman to get me out. I was release and on my cell phone he left several messages telling me pay back was a *****.  I called the lawyers office up explaining to them what happen and they directed me to people that could help me out with my situation. Then I found out they pick up my abuser again.  I had to seek a lawyer. I went to court and the charges was drop they brought him in the court room and they knew he was lying. I had my witness with me and county court papers. My case was thrown out. Me and my abuser appeared in court several times after that, then finally on June 2010 he got his sentence and now doing time.
Silence is Not golden SPEAK OUT, BE HEARD end the Silence on Domestic Violence
Website Development: Simple but Elegant Design
Copyright © 2011 Monica-Steele Taylor
All Rights Reserved.