Devon
A snippet of my life and reason that all is possible if your strong and can break free from violence:-) please click for full note :-) by Domestic Violence Helpstop on Thursday, 28 October 2010 at 15:30

There is a way out and you can live and move on, no matter what life gives You :-) believe and take one day at a time, accept you can't change the past, deal with, put to rest and accept and live each day and do what is important and don't worry about what lay ahead, only stay focused to your end and what ur dreams or place u want to be, accept what ever happened u dealt the best you could at the time :-) and be true to ur heart, treat people as you would want to be treated :-) do to other what u would want in return and allow people to be who they are with out judging and make each day as beautiful and special as u can, so you never regret a thing :-)


Because I have been in a violent relationship and came close to death by the hands of my ex, took years of mental and abuse and the last 5 years it escalated when he had an affair, which I found out, poss he was having all along :-) he raped and forced sex and even when I was asleep took what he wanted in the most nasty way and all which goes as well :-) but I was alone, protecting my kids as I could :-) but they did see thing they should not, fear for my life, attached and put down :-) imprisoned and everything, and deal with now so much but have won on so many levels and have protected my kids and now got them safe :-) I could say more :-) and he only moved out when he attracted me when I was 10 week pregnant after coming in @ 2 PM after drinking with his mate, demanding sex, when I refused he violently kicked me in the belly and was such a force :-( I was kicked out and onto my belly and he smashed a hole in the door as he jumped out of bed and went for me, but I said I would call the police again, he left to my shock,I sobbed holding my belly, praying with all my worth that my baby would live and sobbed till their were no more tears to come and fall asleep with my other kids asleep :-) only to wake to my ex return to say yet again he was sorry, but was all my fault, i asked for it :-) I stood strong and told him to stay out till he sort help and sorted him self out, but he never did and the rest is history. but my ex has near killed me, after finding a text he sent his girlfriend, he exploded in anger and grabbed me around the throat, he near killed me, I only think he never cause I passed out and he stopped, so I cheated death, but came very close, I still thank god that I'm hear and feel very blessed and have been thrown onto the outside patio in the rain and locked out, after smashing me in the face, breaking my nose and given me two black eyes and locking me out while my kids screened and cried, but he did let me in to sort the kids to bed  :-( and treated me like a piece of meat and a animal :-( and I could go on but I guess have painted the picture :-) and all which a person does to another in domestic violence :-(

was years ago 6 months be4 meeting my ex :-) was gang raped and lucky to live the ordeal, when they say your so scared you can't move, was woke with the pain and it happening, after it seemed and age, poss men's through the tears I just managed to say no but then when it stopped I thought they would kill me, but I escaped that and they left, but dealt with that :-) but youre never the same and was lucky wasn't pregnant and all test came out clear, but was a worry and so hard going to the family doc, who had know me from an early age :-( and lost my dad from cancer.he was told and with in 10 months was gone, woke to my mum screaming and went down to the kitchen to find the walls and floor and blood sprayed every place, he'd taken the tube out of his neck and hamogridge and his lungs had filled with blood, he'd had throat cancer and had his voice box taken out, i tried to save him but i know was in vein, so I called 999 and they came but no hope, after they took him I cleaned all up to save my mum and phone everyone and sorted the funeral :-) I was just eighteen and also grandad and friends and also died of cancer and I had a violence and cruel mother :-) had a drunk as a older brother who attacked me and I tried years to help him, but I did help him to stop in the end, but his health is bad and all through this and so much more :-)

I have had to cope with it all my self, did the best I could, lucky I never turned to drink or drugs and has been hard work :-) but I got strong and gain the tools to stay a whole, loving and caring person, and do what I could for my boys but have seen the dark side and low of lows :-( and me andI do the best i can and this cause i never want anyone to feel the depth of darkness and pain which I have and I'll do any thing to prove that there is a way out and you can't beat anything and there are people out there which care and also when your so low and need that help, then you need a place where you can go and find the information and get the help you need and feel you can just be and without having to be judged of ask to justify yourself :-) so if just doing this site' help just one person to break free, or high light what a big and common problem which reaches and touches so many and people that you would never feel it has affected and also that there is hope and you can get free and live a positive and happy and fab life and enjoy the place which you are :-) then all to me is worth all which I have been through :-) so the saying below is very close to my heart and hope gives you some comfort :-) and hope that there is a way out if you take the time and do and no it's not easy, but hay you have no other way, cause it will end as so many as death and kids damage for life.

ONE DAY AT A TIME THIS IS ENOUGH, DO NOT LOOK BACK AND GRIEVE OVER THE PAST CAUSE IT HAS GONE, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED ABOUT THE FUTURE FOR IT HAS NOT COME AS OF YET, LIVE IN THE PRESENT, AND MAKE IT AS BEAUTIFUL IT WILL BE WORTH REMEMBERING ,

MY SAYING DO TO OTHER WHICH YOU WOULD LIKE BACK AND WHAT YOU PUT IN YOU GET BACK 10 FOLD, YOU CAN'T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER ACTION :-) ONLY FOR THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH AND LIVE ALWAYS TO DEAL IN A POSITIVE AND FORWARD WAY :-)

but I work everyday to show so much love and understanding to my kids' minimize the the damage which my ex has done and still does and work to protect them, which I have now, his with held my kids and said nasty thing to them and lied about me to them, but kids see, i never say anything bad about their dad, but are there and they are good kids and see their dad and as hey get older they will see and make their own minds up, but my kids are great and work with positive praise and time out and showing them the best way to express their emotion and all which they feel :-) so everything can be overcome and please I have put this cause I feel it's important that u can see their is light and life after darkness and all can be ok and you can do it and live a positive and happy life, their still sums ups and downs but i work from the heart, keep to the law and do the best and keep focused and believe in my ability to overcome what ever it takes to be the best I can and do the best I can for my family and friends and hope touch and make a differance :-) wishing you all and positive and happy and blessed and fab life and thanks for reading, please feel free to add and comment, in any way you may like and also leave any stories yourself :-)

I could say more and lots of things that have happened but I guess this is as much as needed to show that there is such a need to put a full stop to domestic violence and also against kids :-) no child should ever see any of this and we have to speak out and do all we can to make people aware of the situation and that it's out there :-) but united we stand and we can break the pattern and stop it :-) hugs n luv's A J with smiles xoxoxoxoxoxox
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